Good Evening everyone. Happy Monday to you all. With tomorrow as a 'big day' for me, I've done alot of thinking today. Actually cleaning the house (my mother is coming down) and getting clothes washed and sheets changed and grocery shopping done. I figured that the busier I stay, the better.
Somewhere off in that distant pea brain of mine, tomorrow is dwelling. My mind is like a symphony of emotions, with a crescendo of anxieties and fears coming up on the next page. I tell myself that I'm going to be fine. And Yes, I will be fine. Why is it always the fear of the unknown that seems to be a common denominator with a scheduled hospital visit?
I've been pretty positive since day one, no sense in changing this now. I look at it as the first day of my new life. The first day of becoming cancer free. The first day of saying that I'm a survivor. I promised myself, that when I get into the Operating room, that I would go under with a smile on my face. Whether or not I have a mask on or not, I will smile. Because when I wake up, it will be a whole new world for me.
With all the hurdles that have been dealt to me since September 2008, I'm on the final stretch of this 'track meet of my life"!
That being said.......yes you can call me a survivor. No it's not premature. Preplanned ? Yes! Premature? NO!
There is a saying in Psalms that says: Be Strong and let your Heart take Courage!
Yep, I think I'll do just that!
Ok folks, time to say adios! Thank you for your thoughts and prayers, there's no reason to look back now, all things are set for forward! Time to move on with my life!
Love to you all!
Trace
Monday, January 26, 2009
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
6days 4hours 9 min and 32 secs...but who's counting
Hello all,
I hope this blog finds each and everyone of you fine. I just got back from meeting with my surgeon, Dr. Linda Han. Looks like all systems go for next Tuesday January 27th. I need to be at the hospital around 11am (although this time may change) rumor has it that between my surgeon and my plastic surgeon is that the surgery itself is approx. 3 1/2 to 4 hours long.
I'll have drainage tubes and she flat out told me that I'm going to feel like the first hour or so that I'm having a heart attack. Being that I'm a mere 47, I cant tell you what that feels like, however, for those of you who have had one, I'm sure it's a pain that you don't want to experience ever again.
I appreciate my surgeon being upfront with me, (as most surgeons should be) I don't want anything candy coated. Just give me the drugs to deal with it. My surgeon tells me 2 days in the hospital and my plastic surgeon guy tells me up to 4. So, because of my past history with bleeding, hematomas and the whole 9 yards of not clotting fast (or normal time frame), I'll play it by ear as to how long I get to enjoy St. Anne's delicious hospital food.
I told my Dr, that I was a bit nervous about 'waking up', that fear of the unknown, the visions I have in my head of competing for Frankenstein's wife.......well, she assured me that I would NOT look like a Frankenstein and I guess at this point, Trust is the key word to go with.
That being said, I'm going to go log off and finish making more dinners, I have been doubling up on cooking, so I can throw 1/2 of it in the freezer so poor Dan and Mallori don't starve!!!!!
Keep your fingers crossed for me, and the next time you see me if I have 2 grey streaks in a beehive hairdo, then don't look at my neck for bolts I promise you they won't be there!
Ciao for now!
Trace
p.s. Think Pink!!!
I hope this blog finds each and everyone of you fine. I just got back from meeting with my surgeon, Dr. Linda Han. Looks like all systems go for next Tuesday January 27th. I need to be at the hospital around 11am (although this time may change) rumor has it that between my surgeon and my plastic surgeon is that the surgery itself is approx. 3 1/2 to 4 hours long.
I'll have drainage tubes and she flat out told me that I'm going to feel like the first hour or so that I'm having a heart attack. Being that I'm a mere 47, I cant tell you what that feels like, however, for those of you who have had one, I'm sure it's a pain that you don't want to experience ever again.
I appreciate my surgeon being upfront with me, (as most surgeons should be) I don't want anything candy coated. Just give me the drugs to deal with it. My surgeon tells me 2 days in the hospital and my plastic surgeon guy tells me up to 4. So, because of my past history with bleeding, hematomas and the whole 9 yards of not clotting fast (or normal time frame), I'll play it by ear as to how long I get to enjoy St. Anne's delicious hospital food.
I told my Dr, that I was a bit nervous about 'waking up', that fear of the unknown, the visions I have in my head of competing for Frankenstein's wife.......well, she assured me that I would NOT look like a Frankenstein and I guess at this point, Trust is the key word to go with.
That being said, I'm going to go log off and finish making more dinners, I have been doubling up on cooking, so I can throw 1/2 of it in the freezer so poor Dan and Mallori don't starve!!!!!
Keep your fingers crossed for me, and the next time you see me if I have 2 grey streaks in a beehive hairdo, then don't look at my neck for bolts I promise you they won't be there!
Ciao for now!
Trace
p.s. Think Pink!!!
Friday, January 9, 2009
Time to change the Tires!
Good morning everyone!
I hope this blog finds all of you well! Well folks, yesterday I met with my new plastic surgeon, and needless to say I was VERY impressed with him. We hit it off from the get-go. He was kind, courteous and had a great sense of humor, not to mention he took his TIME with me and answered all my questions!
He reconfirmed with me that my 'big day'' is January 27th......Ok.....so I am having a double mascetomy with immediate reconstruction and both breasts will be nipple and skin sparring! Ok.....that's great, given the limited options that I have. Basically in a nut shell, I'll be 'scooped out' on both breasts by my breast surgeon, keep in mind I said 'scooped' out.....they are not cutting my 'girls' off, so I have a flat chest and down the road I'll change my name to "BILL".!!!!!!
No, I'm getting them scooped out! Save the Freckles I say!!!! I mean , I'm going on a cruise next week and am looking forward to getting a tan. So the idea of getting white breast skin from another part of my body and joining the freak circus is NOT what I had in mind!
So after I'm scooped out, my plastic surgeon comes in and inserts these 'expanders', kinda like a small balloon with a metal ring, he injects saline (aka salt water) into the expanders to stretch my skin from my chest wall. This will be done weekly for about 3 -4 weeks. Once my skin is expanded, then I will have saline implants put in. I dont want the gel kind. Not EVEN an option even though 95 pct of his patients in his practice have them.
Nope, no thanks. I'll stick to saline, so IF for some reason I have a leak, he told me I'll know it. And his exact words were " Tracy you'll know it, the one will be smaller than the other. Just call me up and tell me you have a FLAT TIRE, and I'll tell you to come in and have them changed!".... Well folks, that was the line that did it! Ya gotta love a Doctor that talks like that to ya! Sold! I'm in! Where do I sign?
Back to surgery.........so it's about a 4 hour surgery to have both doctors work on me and I should be in the ole hospital for 3-4 days (pending any hematomas!) Dan and I go on our 6 day cruise on Monday and will be back on Saturday the 17th. I meet with Dr. Han (my breast surgeon) on the 21st and will blog after that!
I wish all of you a warm January! I am trying to get Dan to snorkel with me in Belize. I hear the barrier reef there is awesome, so I'm going to close for now, as I have to go out and get an underwater camera for this snorkeling adventure!!!!
Ciao for now!
Trace
I hope this blog finds all of you well! Well folks, yesterday I met with my new plastic surgeon, and needless to say I was VERY impressed with him. We hit it off from the get-go. He was kind, courteous and had a great sense of humor, not to mention he took his TIME with me and answered all my questions!
He reconfirmed with me that my 'big day'' is January 27th......Ok.....so I am having a double mascetomy with immediate reconstruction and both breasts will be nipple and skin sparring! Ok.....that's great, given the limited options that I have. Basically in a nut shell, I'll be 'scooped out' on both breasts by my breast surgeon, keep in mind I said 'scooped' out.....they are not cutting my 'girls' off, so I have a flat chest and down the road I'll change my name to "BILL".!!!!!!
No, I'm getting them scooped out! Save the Freckles I say!!!! I mean , I'm going on a cruise next week and am looking forward to getting a tan. So the idea of getting white breast skin from another part of my body and joining the freak circus is NOT what I had in mind!
So after I'm scooped out, my plastic surgeon comes in and inserts these 'expanders', kinda like a small balloon with a metal ring, he injects saline (aka salt water) into the expanders to stretch my skin from my chest wall. This will be done weekly for about 3 -4 weeks. Once my skin is expanded, then I will have saline implants put in. I dont want the gel kind. Not EVEN an option even though 95 pct of his patients in his practice have them.
Nope, no thanks. I'll stick to saline, so IF for some reason I have a leak, he told me I'll know it. And his exact words were " Tracy you'll know it, the one will be smaller than the other. Just call me up and tell me you have a FLAT TIRE, and I'll tell you to come in and have them changed!".... Well folks, that was the line that did it! Ya gotta love a Doctor that talks like that to ya! Sold! I'm in! Where do I sign?
Back to surgery.........so it's about a 4 hour surgery to have both doctors work on me and I should be in the ole hospital for 3-4 days (pending any hematomas!) Dan and I go on our 6 day cruise on Monday and will be back on Saturday the 17th. I meet with Dr. Han (my breast surgeon) on the 21st and will blog after that!
I wish all of you a warm January! I am trying to get Dan to snorkel with me in Belize. I hear the barrier reef there is awesome, so I'm going to close for now, as I have to go out and get an underwater camera for this snorkeling adventure!!!!
Ciao for now!
Trace
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