friday/monday ??????????

gorgeous day today. Since I haven't worked since dirt was invented, I don't know which day it is, unless I look at my datebook. All week long I"ve been putting 18 years worth of photos in chronological order into photo albums. I should be done by next week. OSU called and verified my next appt. being on wed 11/5/08. Pending any swelling, I may have surgery (O/R vacancy pending) on the next day the 6th or for now I am tentatively scheduled for Thursday 11/13/08. I don't have a time yet. I am being optomistic for it to be the 6th. The sooner the better so I can move on with my life and get back to doing things around here and going to work. I acually miss the friendly skies, believe it or not. Sometimes I would get so sick of people, and have to put on that smiling face, knowing that out of 50 people in the back of the plane, 49 were named Darryl. UGH.....then again, I miss being asked the "there's your sign!" type of questions. Folks whos first time it is in an airplane, the businessman, who cant stand to fly on any aircraft regardless of it's size. The obese parents with the dirty little kids that have pop in their sippy cups and a binky hanging out of their mouth and the kids are probably 3 and 5!!! The 2 gay guys that get on board that smell so good in their designer clothes. The 22 year old girl, that boards the plan with watery red eyes that just broke up with her boyfriekd and keeps asking me for kleenex. The 4 older ladies that are going away for a girls weekend away and it's 7:00am in the morning and they're all ordering screwdrivers prior to departure!!! Ahhhhhhhhhh the good old days. Well, hopefully I'll be getting back up to my comfort zone of 37,000 feet, in the mean time, I'm grounded. I'll have to show something for being on the ground, so I might as well do all the photo albums, then when I'm done, Im going to work on Mallori's scrapbook for her senior graduation party, which is less than 18 mos. away! Somehow, I think that the time will fly! (no pun intended !!!) Have a safe and warm weekend. Ciao for now!
Trace

Weekend 25/26

Great Weekend. Saturday started out kinda crudly but eventually the sun came out it warmed up and turned out to be a great day for football. So great I took a nap, after dining at El Vaquero with Stef and Francie. Dan's buddy's came over , did the Donato's thing at the end of the Michigan game and beginning of the OSU game. Fig and I just hung out, since Mallori went off to Harris's as "Thing 1" for the weekend. I had Dan drop me off at a craft store prior to lunch, this week while I'm alone, I plan on doing some artsy/craftsy things. Taking a brief break from the Pink regime........ttys! Trace

Just Ducky 10/24/08

Well, " A lovely day for Ducks" as my mother would say. So much for the Indian Summer days. I've been reading down in the dungeon for most of the day. I came across this article that I've read over again and again. The more I read it, actually the more it makes sense and better I feel. Managing your fear. Yeah I know I sound like a martyr but I guess I wouldn't be human if I didn't say that I have some fear. Here are the 8 affirmations to help reduce one's fear!

1. Knowledge: The more you know of your condition, the better; to be unaware is to be frightened!

2.Decision-making: The more informed decisions I actually make for myself, the more I feel in charge and less helpless I feel.

3.Belief in my Dr.: The more I can trust my doctors the more I will have in my treatment plan.

4.Support:Talking to others who have been through it, knowing they've come out on the other side, is reassuring.

5.Humor:The ability to laugh with others and laugh at myself (trust me not hard to do!) It keeps one emotionally balanced!!

6.Timeliness:The smaller the delay from discover to report to treatment, the less time there is for me to mentally live the "worst case scenario"

7.Being Heard:Knowing that my team of doctors and nurses take my questions/needs seriously is essential to my healing process.

8:Counting myself part of the health care team: No one can know my body like I can. No one can know what symptoms are unusual for me like I can, and this makes my contribution central to my own healing!


Wow, that all being said, I think that pretty much nips alot of things in the bud!Remember to THINK PINK......Trace

Just read this.....

Life is short,
Break the rules,
Forgive quickly,
Kiss slowly,
Love truly
Laugh uncontrollably
And never regret anything that made you smile

Thursday 10/23

Well another gorgeous Indian Summer Day! By the way, did you know? today is International Disturbed people's day?...boy have I got a list of people to wish good day on that one!!!! I am going out walking around the subdivision (wishing disturbed people 'good day'!) to get out of this house. I have a few phone calls to make. We are getting a new roof today. So I have mexicans running all around the roof and yard. Trying to figure out what I can have Mallori make for dinner. She's getting to be quite the chef. Anyhow. I'll blog later.

Wed......good news/badnews......10/22

Ok.....gorgeous day today...little bit chilly but nonetheless beautiful. Had to meet with Dr. Yee today at 200pm. Mallori drove me. They took me in right at 200pm. I sat down waiting for her to walk in. Little nervous, anxious, excited...waiting for the verdict...the plan.....the order of events. Bam.........bad news. She pulled out the latest pathology report. They have found 2 more cancer tumors around the outter margin of the margin. The bad news is they found them. The good news is they found them. There is a 5 inch incision that was done horizontally from my nipple to my armpit. The cancer that they have just found, well I have to wait for this surgeries swelling to go down and then go back in for more surgery. She will take out more cancer and a larger area. Basically in a nut shell, she is not going to have much to work with as far as a lumpectomy goes, in other words, this is my LAST time for getting a lumpectomy on the right breast. Then next option is to have a masectomy. I want to exhaust all my lumpectomy avenues before persuing a masectomy. I must have a text that deciphers the genetics of the cancer, called an ONCO type DX test, which I am having done, this test will determine whether or not I need to move onto a Chemotherapy regiment and Radiation therapy, or just radiation followed by a few years of Tamoxifen, which is a drug that lowers your hormones, being that my cancer is hormone receptive. Im not in the best of mood. Kinda feel like one step forward and I just fell down the flight of stairs. Its a nice day out and I'm going to sit outside and have a glass of wine and enjoy the weather. I have to see Dr. Yee in 2 weeks, swelling going down and then schedule the surgery again. Just another hurdle in life to clear. I will remain focused and positive. I have no other choice. I was told NO LIFTING, NO housework of any kind, but I can walk. So tomorrow, I am going to give myself a good solid walk around the subdivision. I will write soon. Love to you all.... Trace

10/21

Well today is Tuesday another gorgeous day. Patty is bringing me dinner and laughs this evening. Im looking for things to do around this big old quiet house. Cant do much other than maybe take a shower later on. Always fun to try and blowdry your hair with your left hand. I don't even look Walmart worthy!! I can't wait for Wed. I meet with Dr. Yee at 200pm for a followup. I hope the pathologist report is a good one. I guess I find out tomorrow whether or not I need chemo or radiation therapy. When, how long, sideffects, drugs the whole 9 yards. Im going to have Mallori take me to the James in Dublin, I feel it would be good for her to be exposed to all the positive 'pink' there! and of course to me Dr. Yee. I have to be strong, no matter what the outlook is. I have to stay focused and positive. Its not always easy, and no one said it would be!

10/18 Oh boy!

Today I feel like I got hit by a truck. My mother says 'oh its day 3"....do I want to know what day 4 is like? sure....it's got to be better!!! Just lying around veggin all day.....now I know what Peg Bundy feels like!

The day after 10/17/08

Feeling pretty good. I have pain pills to take, but I dont like them. Then again, I don't like pain either. So I limit how many I take. The parents and husband are wonderful. Mallori doesn't have school, so she's home, relieved that I am home and to settle her fear of the unknown I continue to communicate with her and be strong for her. I get to take off my dressing tonite..to see what has happened! All day the door bell rings, the phone rings, too bad we don't have a barking dog! I received an edible Fruit floral arrangement, Pink Roses , yellow Roses, Pink Azealeas, chocolate, Cards galore, a basket full of goodies,and a phone call from this crazy post op nurse that loves to sing me happy birthday in Chinese!!! A few folks have offered to make me dinner and bring it over. My mother is cooking stuffed cabbage since they are leaving Sunday morning. Anything she makes is good. I look forward to eating those bad boys!!! I just wished they lived closer.

The Big Day!! 10/16/08

Well, Happy B-Day to me. I cant think of a better gift to give myself than that of surgery! I'm excited, nervous and anxious. Everything rolled into one. Everyone at the James/OSU has been awesome. I can't even say enough things about all of them! The radiologist that injects me with the 'radionuclide' is running a tad bit late, so I'm told at 100pm I'll be getting injected with radioactive dye and having a wire inserted in me then be prepped for surgery. Just met my Anthesiologist, he was cool, nurses inserted my IV. I was supposed to go into surgery at 200pm but I see that the hospital runs like the airlines, late, never on time!!! So I bid farewell to my parents who just got here from Y-Town, and Dan is the lucky one that gets to stay with me till they wheel me to the Operating room. Good bye to Dan at 315pm, a little injection into the IV that makes me feel like I've been to El Vaquero for an adult beverage and off I go to the cold cold OR!! The staff ask me to scooch over onto the table...I look and laugh..."uh yeah..right" " which cheek?" they all laugh....as I scoot over on this cold cotton covered metal plank. The clear green gas mask goes over my nose and mouth. I state that I am having trouble breathing...so she lifts it up just a bit. Big huge 'hollywood' lights hang from the ceiling, staring down at me like a cat about to pounce on its prey. I feel giddy.....ok I'm out! Surgery begins. 3 hours later Im out of surgery and 2 1/2 hours later Im out of recovery. I see Dan and my parents. Ok Im feeling good. My throat hurts more than anything. Guess they had trouble shoving that tube down my throat. So now I sound like a woman who smoked a carton a day!

sorry so late

Hello All!
Due to some technical difficulties (better yet..operator error) I am now able to resume my blogging. I will recap the last 2 weeks as alot has happened to me.

Wed October 8th, met with my surgical oncologist Dr. Lisa Yee. Awesome person! She explained to me in detail and in leymans terms the 'plan' that she and the rest of my medical team were going to do to rid me of this evil disease. She was very confident that 'we' got it in the early stages, however cautioned me not to rule anything out. After spending 3 hours at the James in Dublin, I was emotionally exhausted. Thanks to my hubby Dan and my best friend Donna "SCREACH" for being there taking notes and offering the occasional hug that I needed. Prior to leaving the James in Dublin, I was handed a nice totebag stuffed with a homemade Quilt! As soon as I can upload a pix of this beauty I will. The 'James Quilting Sisters" made that for me and I am needless to say, overwhelmed at the outpouring of kindness and generosity from everyone.!!! Left to go home waiting for the surgery scheduler to contact me!!!!

I flew to JFK on Thursday morning 10/9. back by 1130am....easy day...little did I know that would be my last flight for a while!

Friday 10/10 My parents came 'up' to columbus. Installing a gas heater in the basement family room. Gearing up for a huge birthday party , tomorrow Sat 10/11.

Sat 10/11....Gorgeous day..sunny no clouds....about 86 degrees.....just all over great day! Went to Jims for din din....We came, we Trashed, We left!!! lmao

Sun 10/12.....the out of towners are going home....another beautiful day!

Mon 10/13...called the surgery skeduler....just to put a bug in her ear. Not sleeping well at all. My nightly routine is to get up at 200am read for 2 hours...fall asleep on the lazyboy then get up at 500am.....UGH..what a sked!!

Tues 10/14 Went to Darby HS to watch Mallori throw clay. (clay cats is the club name) She has come such a long way in her ceramics..Im so proud of her!!!

wed 10/15...called the surgery skeduler again...Low and Behold...they have a cancellation for Thursday 10/16 (my Birthday)..wow ...what a gift.. I jumped on that like flys on poop!! Fone calls are being made, people notified. Need to go grocery shopping. Mom and Dad are heading back to Columbus that morning!! Surgery is scheduled for 200pm at the James at OSU

Fri October 3rd, 2008

Easy day, flew to LaGuardia and back ...done by 1130am. Feeling very positive, trying to stay that way. Listened to more Foo.....that always helps! Good day!, Tomorrow is another day!

Thursday October 2, 2008

Well, just spent a few hours translating my pathologist report into a lingo that I could understand. I have a Grade 1, invasive well differentiated ductal carcinoma. It is about 10mm (1 CM) in length. Er and Pr (estrogen and progesteron receptors) show positive. It says no angiolymphatic or perineural invasion identified. (I'm taking that as it hasn't got to my lymph nodes yet) Its Thursday October 2nd, and I have 6 more days till I meet with my surgical oncologist in Dublin, Ohio. The time is going so slow. This is/has been the longest 2 weeks of my life! I can't wait to go to work tomorrow, Saturday and Sunday just to help pass the time!