Good Riddens 'O8

Just a quick note to all, Happy New Year. Key word being NEW! Shed the negative and don the positive. I wish everyone Peace, Prosperity and most important HEALTH!!!!!!! Talk to you in '09!
Trace

the 12 days of Christmas...Ytown Style.......

On the 12th day of Christmas (the 15th) My father said to me.."I'm going in for hernia surgery"
On the 11th day of Christmas ..not feeling so well, full of air pockets and drugs that dont work
On the 10th day of Chrismas..still the same but good news is still no roomate!!!
On the 9th day of Christams.....bad pain.. Mom's alone and I feel I should come up!
On the 8th day of Christmas (friday)reschedule surgery for Saturday 12/20....Here I come!
On the 7th day of Christmas.I arrive at 7:30am and we head up to Northside. surgery went fine!
On the 6th day of Christmas.Not feeling well in pain and in ICU. Heart is A fib and bp is ok
On the 5th day of Christmas.still in ICU slooooooowly feeling a bit better. Heart still in A fib.
On the 4th day of Christmas.Moving from ICU to CCU .Told by Drs he can go home...........lol
On the 3rd day of Christmas (24th) still in CCU, still in A fib, numbers arent good to go home. :(
On the 2nd day of Christmas (25th)looking better feeling better,,,,,,just waiting for Dr to say yes!
On the 1st day of Christmas (26th) after getting there at noon and 'barking' for almost 7 hours.......we finally get Dad home.


I still have the Christmas Spirit in me so this blog has been very 'nice'.....but to tell ya the truth...It's been a long time for everyone involved. I learned alot about hospital "politics", health in general (look around folks.....there is someone worse off than you!) And just being home and my Dad not being there. It just wasnt the same.

But I can say, that my sisters and I celebrated Christmas for/with him on Saturday 12/27. Approx, 24 hours after he got home. Its amazing once you get out of that 'designer' hospital gown, ditch your roomie, oh and get a shower , brush your tooth and dont get your vitals taken every 90 min........it's amazing how one can look and feel like a new human being! Mentally and Physically. We're all glad he's home and hope he NEVER has to enter that 'place' again.

It was nice to rekindle my relationship with my mother. Just the 2 of us. Laughing 90pct of the time when we were doing things around the house or at a store. Like I said, it's the best medicine. It was also nice not to talk about my cancer. Kinda give that subject a break for a while and focus on other things.

But now that Im back in Columbus, ( I just drove home yesterday morn. 28th)and I sit at my desk this morning......my haunting awaits me! I have lots of phone calls to make and meet with a my plastic surgeon next week. I'll blog when I have an update!!!

Long Road to Ruin

Hello All,
I hope this blog finds you all well. I have had a very busy week meeting with Dr's and dealing with my Father's surgery. It's Friday today and I have received alot of news and phone calls. First off, my father must go in for more urgent surgery for an obstruction. So needless to say, I will be driving to Youngstown to stay with my mother till Dec. 25th. Dan and Mallori will come up to Y-town on 12/24, since they have to work.

I received a phone call today from my 2nd opinion breast surgeon. I had an MRI done yesterday and she was calling me up regarding the results of this. The MRI shows that my left side is good. However, the right side is not so good. The right side shows a residual tumor and said it was marked more than usual. The MRI also picked up 2 abnormal lymph nodes (in the axillary nodes) that will need to be removed and biopsied. All in all, I need to have a mastectomy.

It's not something I really wanted to have done, however, like many things in life, you think you have it bad till you look around and see someone else in a much worse case than you.

I really have to count my blessings that this cancer is where it's at, how it's at (stage and type) and that it is a slow moving invasive cancer. I have a lot of 'goods' with this cancer. Its just that in order to basically be cancer free and hopefully for life, I must have a mastectomy.

On a lighter note, I am wishing all of you who I know and those of you whom I don't a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. May you all live with peace, harmony, love and health for the new year! And don't forget about our Troops, you may not agree with the USA being over 'there', but at least support our Troops in defending us! God Bless them all!

2nd opinion and cleveland

going for a 2nd opinion with Patty Harris today. I hope it turns out good. Then weather permitting I am driving up to Cleveland to see my Dad (he just had hernia surgery) and stay with my mom till THursday. I'll blog when i can. Wish me luck and drive safe this evening due to the ice!!
Trace

News at 11

Well folks, I met with my Medical Oncologist yesterday. She was very good at answering my questions, explaining to me my options and did not make me feel rushed. I think I'm going to keep her!!!!
I get a 2nd opinion on Monday 12/15 and if all goes well I wont be having a mastectomy. I have this gut feeling that I have explained to Dr. Ramaswami that would just include me having radiation treatment followed by 5 years of tamoxifen. I am having an MRI scheduled in January for my entire chest just so I can rule out any could be/would be problems.

I have such a meticulous surgical oncologist that based on what she's scooped out of my right side is just not to her comfort level. Even though I do have a clear margin as stated by my pathologist reports.

I'm going to hear out my 2nd opinion and see how this developing story unfolds, back to you Bill!

Busy busy busy

Hello Everyone, I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving holiday. The time has gone by fast since I last blogged. I met with my surgeon yesterday to discuss my option. I swear I walked out of there asking more questions than I did going in there to get answered. Needless to say, I am going to meet a Dr. Linda Han for a 2nd opinion.. After my last blog, I had about 3 friends all whom do NOT know each other, tell me her name and needless to say, she came highly recommended by all 3.

So I meet with her on the 15th. I got a new medical oncologist, since the last one didn't seem to know diddly squat. I guess the reason for our 'break up' was because she used the word "guess"......for some strange reason.......the word 'guess' and the subject cancer are the equivalent of oil and water to me. No Doctor should 'guess' when it comes time for cancer. So I 'nixed' her. I got a new medical oncologist who I'm looking forward to meeting. Her first name..... well let's just say if I had a nickel for every letter, I wouldn't have to go to work, EVER! And her last name is Ramaswami.

Back to the 2nd opinion, I feel jipped, jaded, short end of the stick, raw deal...you name it. I am willing to take chemo and radiation if it means saving my breast. I mean with the few itsy bitsy cancer cells floating around in my right side, I just have a very hard time believing that a mastectomy is my only choice.

Since, I work for the airlines, I am lining up a 3 rd opinion at Johns Hopkins University in Maryland. I'm still researching Doctors and verifying with our insurance that its covered. It is one of the top 10 breast cancer hospitals in the good ole USA. Avon and Komen have a huge partnership with this facility and their website is just awesome.

I guess you could call me bullheaded, or you could call me a fighter, that's your choice. But whatever I'm called it certainly won't be a quiter. I'm on a mission to destroy these pain in the butt cancer cells that are left in me. I will not let them control or destroy my life.

(wow......I feel like eating a fried green tomato and yelling "Tawanda!!!")

Anyhow, Applebees happy hour is calling me out with my girls in a few. I will blog soon. And remember.............Pick battle big enough to matter, but small enough to win!!!!

Knowledge is power.........

Good Morning All! Dreary day here , it's snowing a little and the cat is watching the birds eat at the feeder. So it looks like a postcard from the back of my house!

Sorry so late on the updated blog, yesterday was a busy day for me. I met with another few members of my 'team'. My first appointment was with my medical oncologist. We reviewed my test scores from my Oncotype DX test. This is a test that (in a nutshell) dissects the genes of my cancer and scores them on a test that determines the recurrence of my cancer and whether or not I have to have Chemo. Well the good news is that I have a score of 12 which is under 20. Anything under 20 is in the 'good' group, which means I do NOT have to have chemo. My cancer is a hormonal driven type. So, that means I can be treated with hormonal drugs (Tamoxifen).Which I will be on for at least 5 years. I won't start this till after the first of the year.

After that we (Dan, myself and my good good friend Patty) drove over to meet my Dr. 90210 (plastic surgeon) I met Dr. Boehmler for a good 2 hours and we discussed a wide variety of options that I can elect to have done, once I have my mastectomy. Dr. Boemler wants me to be 200pct sure of my decision prior to getting on the table in the operating room.

At this point I am not at 200 pct. Nowhere close! I believe I am going to have a 2nd opinion on the pathology reports from my re-excision. I want to make sure that I have exhausted all avenues prior to committing to have a mastectomy. A 2nd opinion can not hurt. In fact it may help me understand why I have been dealt this hand in the card game of my life.

I went to bed exhausted last night at 8pm. I don't think there is one ounce of tears left in my body.I woke up at 11pm with my mind racing around the track. I went down to the basement and read till 4am. Then went back to bed kinda. I didn't really sleep, just tossed and turned alot.

I came across this phrase that says:" Knowledge is power.....When you understand, you can become an active participant, choosing treatment because it's in Your best interest. Having made the choice, you will feel much more in 'control and much less like a victim".

So, that being said, I am going to read and research and study,learn and ask everything that I can possibly think of to educate myself on my life changing decision. I'm sorry I can't go into detail about everything that was said to me for 4 1/2 hours yesterday. I'm whipped. But I will tell you when the time is right.

I hope all of you have a lovely Thanksgiving with your family and friends. Drive and fly safe if you are doing so. Enjoy the time!
Take care, Hugs to all!
Trace

getting the tire changed

Well good day everyone. Once again, I am overwhelmed with the responses from this blog, text msgs, phone calls and folks stopping by. Granted I looked like a truck hit me yesterday which was par for the course I guess. My buddy Steph came over with the most amazing inspirational card, not to mention a dozen White long stem roses. I've never had white before and they look and smell sensational! We sat and gabbed and I cried a bit more which I needed to do. She's such a great friend to me. I am blessed to have her in my life! Later I took a nap from 5p-730pm woke up had some soup with Dan and the Kids then went back to bed at 900pm. Pretty emotionally and physically exhausted. I slept pretty well considering the news that had been given to me..

Ya know, laughter is the best medicine. If everyone laughed everyday for even a few seconds, I think this place would be a whole lot better. By the way....... Why was the Energizer Bunny arrested? He was charged with battery. Made ya smirk...didn't it?
I probably wont blog again will Monday after I meet with my oncologist and plastic surgeon. I have lots of reading to do along with many questions that need thought of and answered.

So I have surmised this......I guess it's like going into Goodyear and getting your tire changed. One bad one comes off and they put a new one on. That being said. I wonder how I get balanced?.........ciao for now and lots of hugs for everyone! Trace

Wed 11/19. Time to make LEMONADE!!!!!!!!

Good morning everyone, Its 7:50am, just having coffee. I am full of good vibes this morning. I actually slept throughout most of the night. I have awoken very refreshed! I meet with the Dr. in a little more than 1 hour. Again, let me emphasize to all of you....the 2 words I want to hear...."clear margin". Wish me luck and clear margin or not, I will be on later today to blog!
Ciao for now,
Trace

Ok I met with Dr. Yee today. I took off my gauze and showed her my ever dripping wound, which she says is pretty natural. We talked about the healing process from this last emergency surgery. I some how had got the impression that the next subject was something she didn't look forward discussing with me. Sure as shit would have it, it was NOT good news. After the last re-excision, they found even MORE cancer. This cancer is 'dotted', in other words, its not a mass, not a whole, it's speckled, like dot here dot there, so microscopic that it did not nor will it ever show up on a mamogram. In a nutshell, she has 'scooped' out so much muscle/fiber/tissue in my right breast, that there really is not anything left to work with.

My only true course of action is to have my right breast removed via a masectomy. Having just had a bomb drop on me, I sat at the edge of the table for a second. "No", I did not just hear what I thought I heard. Surely, there must be chemo or radiation that can kill this crap. So I asked her, and there is no real way to determine ending all of this cancer or killing it prior to it reaching my lymph nodes and moving through out my body.

I'm feeling like I'm in a fog right now. Trying to compose myself, I just lost it front of them. (my Dr. Yee and nurse practiioner Maria) they calmed me down stating that I only have a 8 pct chance cancer returning based on my Oncotype DX genetic testing. So that is good news.

I meet with my oncologist team member this coming monday 11/24 at noon and then meet with my new aquired plastic surgeon that same day at 3pm. I will find out time frames and surgery dates later next week. I am going to have reconstructive surgery done. So this masectomy and breast reconstruction will be a heafty long surgery for me. I need my body to recoupe from the last 3 surgeries.
For now I'm in a little fog, going to go take a nap with the cat, he loves to lay on my chest and hear me out. He lays with me till I fall asleep then he goes and hogs the bed in another area. I will talk to you soon. I obviously have a ton of reading to do. Botttom line is....
masectomy, reconstructive surgery, possibly chemo, possibly radiation therapy..then tamoxifin.


Thats all I know for now. Just remember............... when life gives you lemons....you make lemonade. I guess I'll be making the mother of all batches.....and make the pink lemonade please!!! Have a good day. Hugs to all.....Traci

It's Tuesday, I really am blessed!

Good Morning everyone, lovely cold novembery day. Just lounging around. Took Taylor to chick filet for lunch and off to Kroger to get my mother of all birds....snagged me a 25 pounder! whoo hoo. That was enough running around for me today. Came back and Taylor unloaded the groceries and I went up for a nap. When I awoke around 3pm for my meds, Mallori told me there was something on the porch. She brought into me 2 big bags of goodies.Vicki and Ed and Bernadette and Dom....thank you sooooooooooooooo much. The dozen roses and chocolates are awesome. I love the 'pink cure' towel and vase that the roses came in. The crockpot full of pot roast looks and smells awesome. It was really hot, so I dont think it was on my porch for very long. I cried when I read the card and Bernie's email. Just the day before, another flight attendant friend of mine Valerie, came over with chicken and noodles and cookies....yum!!!Thank you so much everyone for your kindness and generosity. I am so blown away by all this. And it makes me realize what a lucky person I am to have all of you in my life. I am truly blessed! I will keep blogging because in a way it makes me feel good, by venting and educating folks who may have been or may be in the same boat as me. Once again,thank you so much for your thoughts and prayers. I really am blessed!

The Best Medicine

My sister in law Marianne came to stay with me for the day. Dan and Taylor had purchased tickets to a hockey game for Friday nite and U of M football for Saturday against North Western. We discussed the pros and cons (which there were NO cons) about going and leaving me. Because I'm so bossy, I told him to go.I wanted him to go, Everyone wanted him to go. There was NO reason for him to stay and watch me fade in and out in a 10x14 foot private room. Spending time with his son to me, having a Father/Son weekend is priceless. I have plenty of family and friends who can assist me should i need it. It wasn't like I was on my death bed or pending another surgery.

So I jumped in the the shower first thing Friday morning. Got all dolled up in my pajamas (I don't think I can wear their designer gowns anymore) freshened all up and here he comes in with Taylor. They stayed and visited for a few hours and by 11am they were off to Michigan only to be returning back to me by 700pm the next evening.

I got to spend the day with my sis in law. I really had a good time with her. We've known each other for 26 years but some how, I feel like maybe she learned a little more about me. We actually talked all day. Did some walking a few different times, went to the Atrium and the library on the 5th floor. (and yes I did walk around the hospitals with my Pajamas on) I mean....who knows me? and frankly.....who cares?

Guy called and showed up after work to pick her up. Patty and Scott showed up, now there is a recipe for cackling. Laughter is the best medicine. I dont care if you're on the giving or receiving end of it. Laughter is great. That to me is better than all the medicines in the world. Well I get to come home on Saturday around 1pm and them I'm going to Vegetate for a few days. I will blog later. I dont want to do anything to create a 'Dolly 2" if ya know what I mean. Dollyworld is shut down......good nite and God bless!

Someone turn off the inflation device!

Well well, Now it's wednesday 11/12/08 and Dolly is growing by the hour. The right side of my chest (aka Dollyworld) is now huge. I feel like if I don't hurry up and split at the seams I will burst. I didn't have the best luck getting blood taken today, by a newbie and a trainee. I kinda lost it after they blew the 3rd vein looking for blood and didn't have any luck. I believe in trainees, I just don't believe I'll have another one anytime soon!

Dr. Yee came into my room around 700am, basically suprised to see my 'Dolly" and concerned about the slight pink color and temp around the area, thought that infection had set in, just in the area that she voided out on 11/5. So heavy duty antibiotics get put into the ole IV, morphine, percocet and a regular diet of hospital food keep me feeling healthy wealthy and wise! The day actually was a blur, so I'll skip to Thursday 11/13. So in a nut shell, I'm scheduled for emergency surgery. They're going to go in and basically suck the crud out of me. Keep me on a high dose of antibiotics and pain meds.

So Im about to eat my breakfast (hard pancakes, oatmeal, OJ and toast) when the nurse comes in tells me Im due into surgery in 6 hours and now I can't eat anything. It was a scene outta a movie , those hospital people, wheeling my food laden tray into the dying sunset as I sat there in my designer gown and manly sports bra. Ok...time to brush my tooth..

They came and got me around 2pm. I met with my team of Dr's again, and reaquated myself with the surgical nurses and recovery team nurses that I had just seen last thursday. Call it a mini-James reunion. They were/are very positive and sending me good vibes for this hopefully last surgery. Ok everyone...say goodbye to Dolly..........off to surgery we go.

I got "put under" very well from my Dr. Xia (his chinese humor is the pits, he best stick with his day job) .Dr. Yee told Dan that she was very suprised at the size of my blood clot, and had no idea that it was that big. (I guess we're talking baseball) They re-cauterized the open area and sewed me back up.I came out of surgery a few hours later then recovery (pending a bloody nose) and from what I could feel I felt great. I felt so alert as if someone just flipped the light switch for me to wake up. I went back to my room, where Dan and my sister in law Marianne were waiting for me. I wasn't walking around like a hunchback from Notre Dame, nor look like I was standing in the employement line for the freak of from Wringling Bros. and Bailey's Circus.

Everyone left me in peace around 800pm, and I said good nite to all............Good nite!

Not the plan!

Well, it's now Tuesday later afternoon, I'm so happy that Taylor is flying home from Montana today, I cant wait to see him. He didn't get on the first non-stop outta Denver, but he got on the second one. I pretty much slept all afternoon, got up and took a shower, washed my hair. My mother always said, "if you look better, you'll feel better"...and yup, I looked better, hey, I could even qualifiy to enter Walmart thats how good I felt. So I go down to the basement, turn on the heater lay on the couch and watch the news.



Taylor's plane touched down around 445pm and he just sent me a text saying he was getting picked up from his buddy and would be home around 530pm. Mallori was at the mall, doing what teenagers do at the mall, and would be home around 530pm. Great, Dan should be getting off work at 600pm so the whole tribe would be together in the next hour or so.



So I'm laying on the couch watching the 530pm news, I had this odd sensation, can't quite describe. I looked at Dolly and bam., blood all over the place. I go upstairs just as Mal is walking in the door, and she manages to help me disrobe and see what the problem is. Dolly is so huge and I mean soooooooooooooooooo huge, the discomfort level is at an all time high and now I'm literally bursting at the seams.



Where my 5 inch incision is looked like a small spot where I assumed maybe a stitch that ripped open, ok, stay calm, I called my Dr, they paged her and she called me back. I was instructed to put an ace wrap around my chest tight for pressure, should stop the bleeding. Ok..fine, no big whoop. This was 6pm.....Dan comes in and we have dinner down in the familyroom as a family. Which totally made my day. We left it as "no news is good news".....well, long story short, ..........

By 730pm I was completly soaked thru all guaze, ace bandage and shirt. I called my Dr, as we headed out the door, on our way to OSU E/R. She called the e/r to advise them I was coming and she would be on call for me. (I didn't want anyone messing up the wonderfull job she did on me) Get to E/R and wait and wait and wait.......good thing I wasn't 'bleeding to death" or anything!!!! Long story short, they look at me, the size the temp and before I know it I'm admitted! whoa.............didn't expect this to happen. It's now 200am and Im getting my room at the James hospital and sending Dan home for some sleep.

This wasnt part of the plan. Then what really is? I'll blog more in a bit. This story only gets better! ciao for now, Trace

Dolly Parton

Good Morning everyone, beautiful day here. Great night too. Almost a full moon. I would know that because of me being up every hour with my 'girl'.......My girl...let's call her "Dolly" is so swollen, she looks like a tick about to pop. I have some bruises all around my right rib cage and on my sternum. With symptoms like these....who else would I call at 700am in the morning but my dear ole friend "Marsha".

I needed her to get a visual on my symptoms and do some explaining to me about the so called war in the O/R that I presumably lost!! OOOOOOOOOOoh Marsha, what cold hands you have. But hey, it was all good. I felt bad calling her at the crack of dawn with my semi-transgendered manly voice, but darn it, I couldn't take it any more.She really was a lot of help and hey, the price was right! (wink)

I can't wait for this cancer chapter in my life to be ended so I can move on. When it is done folks, I am having a huge bbq for all my friends and family. A little thank you from the bottom of my steak tar tar!!!!!!
I go see Dr. Yee tomorrow at 730am and there are 2 words I plan on hearing...."CLEAR MARGIN" I'm sending positive vibes to you all!!!
Thanks again Marsh,
Trace
p.s. Taylor flys home from Montana today. Should be landing around 2:30pm and will be here till December 3rd!! whooo hoooooooo Oh and anyone plz stop by. I would love the company. Frankly I'm sick of the cat!!!

International or Peterbuilt?

Well 'they' say day 3 is the tough one. And sure enough yesterday was day 3. I took the pain meds as directed but never seemed to come out of the fog that was constantly with me throughout the entire day. I can''t sleep on my left hip anymore, can't sleep on my tummy, can't sleep on my right side, ok...guess that leaves the back. I must say that a lazy boy chair sounds darn good right now.

I had trouble all day getting out of bed. Dan walked in last night and asked me .."OMG what happened to you?"....not in a mean way but out of concern. He asked me where I got my bruises?. I said "what bruises?" so he proceeded to take me into the bathroom and show me what I hadn't seen before. The fact that it hurt so much getting up out of bed may be from the bruises on my ribs on the right side. Now we're talking that lovely color of Magenta right there on the right side of the rib cage....this is turning into a treasure hunt now, as we locate one dead center of my chest, on my sternum.

I'm starting to wonder what the heck happened in that O/R? I always try to be the good patient, not a trouble maker. Ok more bruises up under my armpit. So far thats it for now. Frankly, I don't want to find anymore. I feel like I got hit by a truck as it is. Im just not sure if it was a Peterbuilt or an International!!!.

Thank you to all that call, email and comment here at blog central! I found that putting my thoughts/adventures in writing can cause laughter for some! education for others, not to mention it saves me a slew of phone calls with Pete and Re-pete! It's just nice to know I have so many family and friends here in Columbus, in Y-Town and surrounding cities, not to mention the folks I work with! Once again, thank you for calling and checking on me and calling just to chat. I appreciate it more than you know!! For those of you who haven't called me, i/m'd me, or shot me an email, just remember you can't taste visine when it's in your coffee!!!!! LMAO. Yeah _________ you know who you are!
I'll blog when I get outta my fog. Good day for Lifetime movie network.!!! I'll chat later!!! T

Atilla the hun

Hello all, the way i feel right now it could be raining cats and dogs and frankly I don't care. Yesterday , Thursday 11/6 was .....let's say....not one of my more memorable days of my life. It was a gorgeous day don't get me wrong. Got to the James at 12:30 for admissions . The hospitals tend to run like the airlines, uh.....not on time. No worries, where was I going? So we sat and sat and sat. I started to get a really bad headache since it was about 1:30 and I hadn't eaten since 6:30pm the night before. Of course reading magazines with recipes in them didn't help!

Finally, hear my name paged and up to the 4th floor pre-op we go. Got into my designer gown, my ghetto hair net and sexy booties. Next comes the IV.I met with my anesthesiologist, and since I had some problems getting the tube down my throat from some previous surgeries, I wanted to make sure he was advised of my throat/breathing problems. Nice guy, took the time to check my mouth out and hear what I had to say. I heard him on the phone ordering a few pieces of some equipment apparently in a different size to suit my needs.

It's now past 3pm and I was originally supposed to have surgery at 1:30pm , the nurse comes in and introduces herself to me, I kiss Dan goodbye and away we go to the O/R.

I slip over onto the popsicle stick of a table. They prop me upwards instead of laying down. I'm thinking, "ok, this is new". The anesthesiologist comes over with this huge needle (now mind you I am fully awake, no happy juice of any kind) he first squirts a lidocaine up my nose, then puts this needle up my nostril and out gushes this gel which is a lidocaine type glob. He tells me to snort it up so it can run down my throat and numb me. I ask why is this being done and he tells me he wants to see how I handle this like laproscopic like breathing tube he's about to put down my throat.

I get this oxygen type like mask put on me next about 1 inch from my face with is spitting clear liquid, which I'm told I need to inhale so my esophagus goes numb. (it was kinda like breathing in the shower under the shower head while it's running....not fun!) Ok!, I'm thinking ok mind over matter I can handle this (again...no happy juice I was fully alert) he puts in a 4 inch tube into my mouth, "great" I'm thinking this is a breeze!...then comes the 'good part'.....the ole laproscopic tube. This thing was about the size of a TV cable and about 10 inches long. I shot him a 'George' look, like..."you're not gonna put this where I think you're gonna put this"...sure enough....down the hatch. In any event, I learned that my gag reflex was NOT numb. I gagged so hard and was gasping for air, I thought I was a gonner, as if I were to be breathing thru a coffee stir stick. They must have inserted the anesthesia at that point because I don't even remember going under.

The surgery went well, it took about 90 min for surgery, I had alot of drugs in me when I was in post op/recovery, so I was in there for 2 1/2 hours give or take a few. I could tell coming 'out' that I was going to be in some pain. I am so swollen on my right side, which, hey,is fine, as long as she got all the cancer cells and I come back with a clear margin. I have some percocet here to help me.

We got home from the hospital last night around 9pm. I slept good till 2am and I have been tossing and turning ever since. But thats ok.....as long as Dr. Yee got all the cells. I can deal with the 'other stuff". Since it's cold and rainy today, I've labeled myself as Atilla, and will soon be going back up to my cave. I would love to write more but I feel the percocet is kicking in. Figaro is taking care of me today. He doesn't understand that he can't take a nap on 'Mom's chest" for a while .Anyhow, I'm feeling drowsier, gotta go. Have a nice weekend. I'll write when I can. T

Round 2

Good morning everyone, another beautiful day. I actually got a great night sleep last night. The parents called me from JFK prior to leaving for Malaga, Spain and the word is 'no news is good news'. I hope their flight went well and they got some sleep. Malaga is a beautiful city and I'm sure they will enjoy it. In the mean time back here in Columbus, Ohio its indian summer and I think everyone is enjoying it to the fullest. I have to be at the James hospital at 12:30 today then up to O/R at 1:30pm. It's supposed to be a 90 min. to 2 hour surgery. So I'm crossing my fingers that the Doc will snag it all. Positive vibes......nothing but positive vibes. Well since I can't eat or drink anything, I think I'll go up and brush my tooth again and gargle. I'll get dressed and take a walk around the block. It's too nice to stay inside, considering its November!!!! Anyhow, cross your fingers everyone. I'll blog when I'm outta the fog!!! Ciao for now! Trace

No time like now!

Good day everyone, another beautiful day here! I had my apt. with Dr. Yee moved up to 12:30pm today and got my hair chopped. I will look like Kris Kardashian Jenner if it's the last thing I do!!! The swelling is down and my incisions are healing very well. They just called me to advise me that there is an opening in the old Operating Room tomorrow 11/6/08 at 1:30pm. I have to be at admissions at 12:30pm. I really wanted this surgery tomorrow, because I had been tentatively scheduled for next Thursday. Taylor comes home on vacation from Montana on Tuesday 11/11!!!! I cant wait to see him. I really didn't want my surgery to be done while he is here, so it worked out. I'm being very optomistic that the Dr. will get the 2 additional cancerous spots out of me tomorrow. And I will have a "clear/clean margin". I have to think overdrive on the positive thoughts that this will be "IT"!. I asked the nurse today what the odds were of having a 3rd lumpectomy and she said 'none'. There fore if the surgery doesn't turn out good tomorrow, then my only option is to have a masectomy. I want to exhaust all my lumpectomy avenues before driving onto the masectomy highway.I am only thinking positive thoughts again. I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. For now, wish me luck. I'll post as soon as I can!!! Get out and enjoy the next few days, this weekend it's supposed to be cold!!!!! ciao for now! Trace

friday/monday ??????????

gorgeous day today. Since I haven't worked since dirt was invented, I don't know which day it is, unless I look at my datebook. All week long I"ve been putting 18 years worth of photos in chronological order into photo albums. I should be done by next week. OSU called and verified my next appt. being on wed 11/5/08. Pending any swelling, I may have surgery (O/R vacancy pending) on the next day the 6th or for now I am tentatively scheduled for Thursday 11/13/08. I don't have a time yet. I am being optomistic for it to be the 6th. The sooner the better so I can move on with my life and get back to doing things around here and going to work. I acually miss the friendly skies, believe it or not. Sometimes I would get so sick of people, and have to put on that smiling face, knowing that out of 50 people in the back of the plane, 49 were named Darryl. UGH.....then again, I miss being asked the "there's your sign!" type of questions. Folks whos first time it is in an airplane, the businessman, who cant stand to fly on any aircraft regardless of it's size. The obese parents with the dirty little kids that have pop in their sippy cups and a binky hanging out of their mouth and the kids are probably 3 and 5!!! The 2 gay guys that get on board that smell so good in their designer clothes. The 22 year old girl, that boards the plan with watery red eyes that just broke up with her boyfriekd and keeps asking me for kleenex. The 4 older ladies that are going away for a girls weekend away and it's 7:00am in the morning and they're all ordering screwdrivers prior to departure!!! Ahhhhhhhhhh the good old days. Well, hopefully I'll be getting back up to my comfort zone of 37,000 feet, in the mean time, I'm grounded. I'll have to show something for being on the ground, so I might as well do all the photo albums, then when I'm done, Im going to work on Mallori's scrapbook for her senior graduation party, which is less than 18 mos. away! Somehow, I think that the time will fly! (no pun intended !!!) Have a safe and warm weekend. Ciao for now!
Trace

Weekend 25/26

Great Weekend. Saturday started out kinda crudly but eventually the sun came out it warmed up and turned out to be a great day for football. So great I took a nap, after dining at El Vaquero with Stef and Francie. Dan's buddy's came over , did the Donato's thing at the end of the Michigan game and beginning of the OSU game. Fig and I just hung out, since Mallori went off to Harris's as "Thing 1" for the weekend. I had Dan drop me off at a craft store prior to lunch, this week while I'm alone, I plan on doing some artsy/craftsy things. Taking a brief break from the Pink regime........ttys! Trace

Just Ducky 10/24/08

Well, " A lovely day for Ducks" as my mother would say. So much for the Indian Summer days. I've been reading down in the dungeon for most of the day. I came across this article that I've read over again and again. The more I read it, actually the more it makes sense and better I feel. Managing your fear. Yeah I know I sound like a martyr but I guess I wouldn't be human if I didn't say that I have some fear. Here are the 8 affirmations to help reduce one's fear!

1. Knowledge: The more you know of your condition, the better; to be unaware is to be frightened!

2.Decision-making: The more informed decisions I actually make for myself, the more I feel in charge and less helpless I feel.

3.Belief in my Dr.: The more I can trust my doctors the more I will have in my treatment plan.

4.Support:Talking to others who have been through it, knowing they've come out on the other side, is reassuring.

5.Humor:The ability to laugh with others and laugh at myself (trust me not hard to do!) It keeps one emotionally balanced!!

6.Timeliness:The smaller the delay from discover to report to treatment, the less time there is for me to mentally live the "worst case scenario"

7.Being Heard:Knowing that my team of doctors and nurses take my questions/needs seriously is essential to my healing process.

8:Counting myself part of the health care team: No one can know my body like I can. No one can know what symptoms are unusual for me like I can, and this makes my contribution central to my own healing!


Wow, that all being said, I think that pretty much nips alot of things in the bud!Remember to THINK PINK......Trace

Just read this.....

Life is short,
Break the rules,
Forgive quickly,
Kiss slowly,
Love truly
Laugh uncontrollably
And never regret anything that made you smile

Thursday 10/23

Well another gorgeous Indian Summer Day! By the way, did you know? today is International Disturbed people's day?...boy have I got a list of people to wish good day on that one!!!! I am going out walking around the subdivision (wishing disturbed people 'good day'!) to get out of this house. I have a few phone calls to make. We are getting a new roof today. So I have mexicans running all around the roof and yard. Trying to figure out what I can have Mallori make for dinner. She's getting to be quite the chef. Anyhow. I'll blog later.

Wed......good news/badnews......10/22

Ok.....gorgeous day today...little bit chilly but nonetheless beautiful. Had to meet with Dr. Yee today at 200pm. Mallori drove me. They took me in right at 200pm. I sat down waiting for her to walk in. Little nervous, anxious, excited...waiting for the verdict...the plan.....the order of events. Bam.........bad news. She pulled out the latest pathology report. They have found 2 more cancer tumors around the outter margin of the margin. The bad news is they found them. The good news is they found them. There is a 5 inch incision that was done horizontally from my nipple to my armpit. The cancer that they have just found, well I have to wait for this surgeries swelling to go down and then go back in for more surgery. She will take out more cancer and a larger area. Basically in a nut shell, she is not going to have much to work with as far as a lumpectomy goes, in other words, this is my LAST time for getting a lumpectomy on the right breast. Then next option is to have a masectomy. I want to exhaust all my lumpectomy avenues before persuing a masectomy. I must have a text that deciphers the genetics of the cancer, called an ONCO type DX test, which I am having done, this test will determine whether or not I need to move onto a Chemotherapy regiment and Radiation therapy, or just radiation followed by a few years of Tamoxifen, which is a drug that lowers your hormones, being that my cancer is hormone receptive. Im not in the best of mood. Kinda feel like one step forward and I just fell down the flight of stairs. Its a nice day out and I'm going to sit outside and have a glass of wine and enjoy the weather. I have to see Dr. Yee in 2 weeks, swelling going down and then schedule the surgery again. Just another hurdle in life to clear. I will remain focused and positive. I have no other choice. I was told NO LIFTING, NO housework of any kind, but I can walk. So tomorrow, I am going to give myself a good solid walk around the subdivision. I will write soon. Love to you all.... Trace

10/21

Well today is Tuesday another gorgeous day. Patty is bringing me dinner and laughs this evening. Im looking for things to do around this big old quiet house. Cant do much other than maybe take a shower later on. Always fun to try and blowdry your hair with your left hand. I don't even look Walmart worthy!! I can't wait for Wed. I meet with Dr. Yee at 200pm for a followup. I hope the pathologist report is a good one. I guess I find out tomorrow whether or not I need chemo or radiation therapy. When, how long, sideffects, drugs the whole 9 yards. Im going to have Mallori take me to the James in Dublin, I feel it would be good for her to be exposed to all the positive 'pink' there! and of course to me Dr. Yee. I have to be strong, no matter what the outlook is. I have to stay focused and positive. Its not always easy, and no one said it would be!

10/18 Oh boy!

Today I feel like I got hit by a truck. My mother says 'oh its day 3"....do I want to know what day 4 is like? sure....it's got to be better!!! Just lying around veggin all day.....now I know what Peg Bundy feels like!

The day after 10/17/08

Feeling pretty good. I have pain pills to take, but I dont like them. Then again, I don't like pain either. So I limit how many I take. The parents and husband are wonderful. Mallori doesn't have school, so she's home, relieved that I am home and to settle her fear of the unknown I continue to communicate with her and be strong for her. I get to take off my dressing tonite..to see what has happened! All day the door bell rings, the phone rings, too bad we don't have a barking dog! I received an edible Fruit floral arrangement, Pink Roses , yellow Roses, Pink Azealeas, chocolate, Cards galore, a basket full of goodies,and a phone call from this crazy post op nurse that loves to sing me happy birthday in Chinese!!! A few folks have offered to make me dinner and bring it over. My mother is cooking stuffed cabbage since they are leaving Sunday morning. Anything she makes is good. I look forward to eating those bad boys!!! I just wished they lived closer.

The Big Day!! 10/16/08

Well, Happy B-Day to me. I cant think of a better gift to give myself than that of surgery! I'm excited, nervous and anxious. Everything rolled into one. Everyone at the James/OSU has been awesome. I can't even say enough things about all of them! The radiologist that injects me with the 'radionuclide' is running a tad bit late, so I'm told at 100pm I'll be getting injected with radioactive dye and having a wire inserted in me then be prepped for surgery. Just met my Anthesiologist, he was cool, nurses inserted my IV. I was supposed to go into surgery at 200pm but I see that the hospital runs like the airlines, late, never on time!!! So I bid farewell to my parents who just got here from Y-Town, and Dan is the lucky one that gets to stay with me till they wheel me to the Operating room. Good bye to Dan at 315pm, a little injection into the IV that makes me feel like I've been to El Vaquero for an adult beverage and off I go to the cold cold OR!! The staff ask me to scooch over onto the table...I look and laugh..."uh yeah..right" " which cheek?" they all laugh....as I scoot over on this cold cotton covered metal plank. The clear green gas mask goes over my nose and mouth. I state that I am having trouble breathing...so she lifts it up just a bit. Big huge 'hollywood' lights hang from the ceiling, staring down at me like a cat about to pounce on its prey. I feel giddy.....ok I'm out! Surgery begins. 3 hours later Im out of surgery and 2 1/2 hours later Im out of recovery. I see Dan and my parents. Ok Im feeling good. My throat hurts more than anything. Guess they had trouble shoving that tube down my throat. So now I sound like a woman who smoked a carton a day!

sorry so late

Hello All!
Due to some technical difficulties (better yet..operator error) I am now able to resume my blogging. I will recap the last 2 weeks as alot has happened to me.

Wed October 8th, met with my surgical oncologist Dr. Lisa Yee. Awesome person! She explained to me in detail and in leymans terms the 'plan' that she and the rest of my medical team were going to do to rid me of this evil disease. She was very confident that 'we' got it in the early stages, however cautioned me not to rule anything out. After spending 3 hours at the James in Dublin, I was emotionally exhausted. Thanks to my hubby Dan and my best friend Donna "SCREACH" for being there taking notes and offering the occasional hug that I needed. Prior to leaving the James in Dublin, I was handed a nice totebag stuffed with a homemade Quilt! As soon as I can upload a pix of this beauty I will. The 'James Quilting Sisters" made that for me and I am needless to say, overwhelmed at the outpouring of kindness and generosity from everyone.!!! Left to go home waiting for the surgery scheduler to contact me!!!!

I flew to JFK on Thursday morning 10/9. back by 1130am....easy day...little did I know that would be my last flight for a while!

Friday 10/10 My parents came 'up' to columbus. Installing a gas heater in the basement family room. Gearing up for a huge birthday party , tomorrow Sat 10/11.

Sat 10/11....Gorgeous day..sunny no clouds....about 86 degrees.....just all over great day! Went to Jims for din din....We came, we Trashed, We left!!! lmao

Sun 10/12.....the out of towners are going home....another beautiful day!

Mon 10/13...called the surgery skeduler....just to put a bug in her ear. Not sleeping well at all. My nightly routine is to get up at 200am read for 2 hours...fall asleep on the lazyboy then get up at 500am.....UGH..what a sked!!

Tues 10/14 Went to Darby HS to watch Mallori throw clay. (clay cats is the club name) She has come such a long way in her ceramics..Im so proud of her!!!

wed 10/15...called the surgery skeduler again...Low and Behold...they have a cancellation for Thursday 10/16 (my Birthday)..wow ...what a gift.. I jumped on that like flys on poop!! Fone calls are being made, people notified. Need to go grocery shopping. Mom and Dad are heading back to Columbus that morning!! Surgery is scheduled for 200pm at the James at OSU

Fri October 3rd, 2008

Easy day, flew to LaGuardia and back ...done by 1130am. Feeling very positive, trying to stay that way. Listened to more Foo.....that always helps! Good day!, Tomorrow is another day!

Thursday October 2, 2008

Well, just spent a few hours translating my pathologist report into a lingo that I could understand. I have a Grade 1, invasive well differentiated ductal carcinoma. It is about 10mm (1 CM) in length. Er and Pr (estrogen and progesteron receptors) show positive. It says no angiolymphatic or perineural invasion identified. (I'm taking that as it hasn't got to my lymph nodes yet) Its Thursday October 2nd, and I have 6 more days till I meet with my surgical oncologist in Dublin, Ohio. The time is going so slow. This is/has been the longest 2 weeks of my life! I can't wait to go to work tomorrow, Saturday and Sunday just to help pass the time!